I'm controlling even in my sleep.

January 15, 2009 at 5:07 pm Leave a comment

I had a tornado dream last night.

Background: Our house was hit by a tornado in 1991.  Since then, I have had a recurring dream about tornadoes.  The dream has various manifestations, but it always boils down to the fact that there’s a tornado coming and I’m directly in its path.  Sometimes, I wake up before it hits; other times, it hits and I’m left to deal with the aftermath.  I often have the dream when I’m under a lot of stress, so it was surprising that I had it last night, as my stress level has been very low recently.

tornado

In last night’s dream, I was with my husband, daughter, and parents.  We were in our house outside of Towanda – the one that got hit in 1991 – but this house had a viewout basement, which that house didn’t have in real life.  We were planning on leaving, but Mom & Dad convinced us to stick around for a while until the low-hanging, scary-looking clouds disappeared.  Around that time, the sirens started blowing in my dream.  We headed downstairs, and just as we did, we looked out the basement windows to see a ginormous tornado barreling its way towards us.

We huddled together in the middle of the basement, bracing ourselves for the impact.  That’s when I realized that I didn’t know where Alissa was.  Looking around, I spotted her with Brad, who was holding her.  Sadly, in my dream my first impulse was to snatch her and protect her myself; Brad wasn’t holding her the way I thought he should be to adequately protect her.

I woke up and thought, “Holy control issues, Batman!”  Do I do this in real life?  Yes, probably.  Do I need to cut it out?  Yes, definitely.  I second guess the way others do things with Alissa, thinking that *I* know best and *I* am the only one that can do things the right way.  Maybe it comes from being Alissa’s primary caregiver every single day.  Maybe it comes from my need to be “in charge.”  Of everything.  I need to learn to relax and know that others also have my child’s best interests in mind, even if it means they don’t do things exactly the way I do them.

It’s amazing what a dream can reveal.

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Entry filed under: Life in general.

Good recipe. Bad customer service drives me bonkers.

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