But wait – there's more!

July 1, 2009 at 1:07 pm Leave a comment

As a result of middle of the night feedings, I have recently viewed a variety of infomercials.  It’s about the only thing on at 3:30 in the morning.  From them, I have learned one thing: my life is missing something.  And it could be made complete if only I would buy their product or invest in their program.

Did you know that, for only two easy payments of $___.99 (plus shipping and handling), I could:

Buy a home for only $300?

From that home, I can make millions on the Internet.

I can paint the walls of my new home easily with a Point and Paint.

The floors in my home would be germ free with my exciting new Shark Steam Mop.

After the floors are cleaned, I can create gourmet meals in my kitchen in only 15 minutes with the Turbo Cooker.

I’ll prep those meals using my Ginsu knives.  I’ll cut onions using the Vidalia Slice Wizard.

While dinner is cooking, I could get Slim in Six minutes.  Or I could Walk Away the Pounds.

I could work my abs in a variety of ways.  All I need is the Ab Energizer, Ab Scissor Ultra, Ab Slide, Ab Swing, Ab Twister, or Abflex.  I could also take my Ab Energizer Dietary Supplement.

Or, instead of wasting time working out, I could simply buy the “girdle” that makes me lose two dress sizes in seconds.

I could flatten my belly and detoxify my body with the Dual Action Cleanse.

After my workout, I could relax on the couch in my Snuggie.

While relaxing, I can watch Dean Martin Celebrity Roast or Carol Burnett & Friends on DVD.  I’ll sip a frosty drink from my Magic Bullet.

I could Teach My Baby to Read.  Or get my toddler Hooked on Phonics.

Since I look so good from working out, I’ll want to make sure the rest of me looks good, too.  I can PedEgg my feet, whisk away unwanted body hair with the Ultra Smooth, and fix my hair with EZ Combs.

I’ll hide my bra straps under my tank with my Strap Perfect.

After a long day, I’ll sleep on my Mattress Genie.

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Entry filed under: Life in general.

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