Nope, the number on the scale hasn’t moved

September 25, 2009 at 4:49 pm 1 comment

It’s been a few weeks since I posted an update about my weight-loss progress.  In a nutshell: there hasn’t been any.  For a myriad of reasons, I have fallen off the wagon yet again.  In fact, the wagon has left me so far behind I don’t even know where it is anymore.  Right now I’m waiting on a new wagon to come by any time now and scoop me up.

Some of the reasons for my most recent collapse:

  1. I have been mind-numbingly, soul-crushingly, bone-level tired.  To the point where thinking takes all of my energy.  Showering and getting dressed is a physical accomplishment.  Sleep in this household continues to be a problem, and for a while I was running on sheer adrenaline.  When  the adrenaline ran out, I hit the wall.  When I’m tired, I eat crap.  Lots of it.  And I don’t work out.  Which makes me more tired.  And so it becomes a vicious cycle.
  2. I quit WW meetings.  When I joined earlier this summer, I was going to the 9:30 Saturday meeting.  It was a perfect time for me because Brad was available to watch the girls during that hour.  I really enjoyed the meeting leader at that time.  In early August, they replaced the leader with a new gal who I really didn’t click with.  And I wasn’t being disciplined and staying on plan.  So I decided to save my $39.99 a month instead of frittering it away.  I still believe in WW; I just wasn’t putting the effort into it to make it work.  (See point #1.)
  3. My scale broke.  I could ask Brad to fix it.  I could go buy another one.  I haven’t bothered to do either of those things.  Sometimes, it’s easier not to know.
  4. I’ve still been trying to figure out the right Y schedule.  This, my friends, is a flimsy excuse.  I know this.  However, I will tell you I work out harder when I take classes.  I will push myself more if I’m surrounded by other people, simply because my competitive nature kicks in.  If I’m by myself, walking on the track or running on the treadmill, I’m much more likely to quit early or only give it 50-75%.  For the girls’ schedules, I want to be consistent about the time of day I go to the Y.  I’ve decided that the 11:30 – 12:15 classes in the middle of the day are probably my best bet.  They are good classes, and the KidZone isn’t crazy busy.  That time slot seems to be working out for us fairly well.

And so I am re-starting.  Again.  I keep thinking that one of these days it is going to click for me.  Something in my brain is going to shift into place and I’m going to finally put all the pieces together.  I know that weight loss and healthy living is a decision, one I have to make and re-make daily and sometimes hourly.  And so I will try, try again.


Entry filed under: A weighty matter. Tags: , , .

Letter to the baby I've been sucked in (pardon the pun)

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. anne burris  |  September 25, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Love the wagon analagy, so funny! If it makes you feel any better about being a quitter, I recently quit my 5:30 a.m. workouts in exchange for more sleep.
    I’ve decided fat and happy is a better condition than tired, hungry and skinny.

    Life’s to short to starve.


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