The Proverbs 31 Woman: Married to a Respected Man

February 16, 2010 at 9:50 pm 3 comments

It’s been a few months since my last exploration of the Proverbs 31 woman.  So far, we’ve discussed how she is hardworking, financially savvy, and creative.  In short, she is superwoman.  I feel slovenly compared to her.

Proverbs 31:23 leaves off a bit from the characteristics of the woman, and instead focuses on her husband.  The verse reads:

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

My interpretation of this verse is that the Proverbs 31 woman is well-yoked.  She has not married a lazy man, or an ignorant man, or an abusive man.  Instead, she has married her equal, someone who is well-esteemed by his peers.  He is a leader, a thinker, and probably a hard worker.

When I was a teenager, I made a list of qualities that I wanted in the man I would marry.   Among the requirements were these: Tall.  Kind.  Sense of humor.  Love of God.  Ambitious.  Drives a truck.  (Huh?) I kept the list in my Bible.  Things were added and deleted throughout the years, but the core values remained the same.

I dated a lot in my 20’s.  Let me rephrase that: I dated A LOT in my 20’s.  And while there were some quality dudes among the pool of candidates, I wasted a lot of time on guys who just didn’t meet the criteria I had set for myself, or the criteria that God had set for me.  Some were uneducated, many were unmotivated.  More than a few were un-Christian.  In short, they didn’t match up to the list.

Despite knowing these things in my head, I tried to force many of these relationships to work, to become something that they were not intended to become.  I was compromising on the things I wanted most, because I was scared that I would never find love.  I told myself it was in God’s hands, but the truth was, I was clenching it tightly in my fists, unwilling to let go of control to Him.

By the time I met Brad, I was done.  In a prayer one night shortly after another messy breakup, I let it go.  I relinquished to control to God.  And I met Brad one month later.

And for the most part, Brad lived up to the list.  Okay, so he’s not tall, but he’s generous.  And he’s educated.  He’s kind.  He’s a hard worker.  And he always makes me laugh.

His faith is not infallible, but it runs deep.  He often provides words of assurance when I express doubts about my own faith.  In many of the faux-relationships I had before I met Brad, there was always a nagging suspicion in the back of my head that this person was not on the up-and-up, that things weren’t what they seemed to be.  I knew Brad was the right one for me when I realized that the suspicion had never been alerted with him, that he was everything he appeared to be.

It’s been a wild 4+ years in this marriage.  I’m not saying it’s perfect; no marriage is perfect, so to make that claim would be an outright lie. Like all couples, our marriage is a work in progress.  But it’s easier because I have married a believer.  A man of integrity.  A man of intensity.  A man who is doing his best to improve his walk with God.

Coming up next – The Proverbs 31 Woman: A Sense of Humor

View my previous entries:

The Proverbs 31 Woman: Creative
The Proverbs 31 Woman: Financially Savvy

The Proverbs 31 Woman: Hard-Working
The Proverbs 31 Woman: An Introduction

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Entry filed under: Bible study, The Proverbs 31 woman. Tags: , , .

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Chase Callahan  |  February 18, 2010 at 11:05 am

    I know your husband. Pretty sure he only married you because your father paid him.

    Reply
  • 2. Maria  |  February 22, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    This was an amazing post. I completely identify and agree with everything you said. Especially this part: “…there was always a nagging suspicion in the back of my head that this person was not on the up-and-up, that things weren’t what they seemed to be. I knew Brad was the right one for me when I realized that the suspicion had never been alerted with him, that he was everything he appeared to be.”

    That was the clincher for me, too. I still to this day marvel that there is no drama, suspicion, jealousy, manipulation, etc. in our relationship, because that’s all I knew for so many years.

    I’m so glad I found your blog. ;o)

    ~Maria

    Reply
  • […] The Proverbs 31 Woman: Married to a Respected Man The Proverbs 31 Woman: Creative The Proverbs 31 Woman: Financially Savvy The Proverbs 31 Woman: Hard-Working The Proverbs 31 Woman: An Introduction […]

    Reply

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