Ewwwwwww.

October 18, 2010 at 7:22 am 6 comments

“Doodie!”  ~Caddyshack

Before you become a parent, people use particular words to describe parenting: Challenging.  Exhausting.  Rewarding.

Then you have kids, and you discover there’s another descriptive word that sums up parenting:  GROSS.

People don’t tell you about the icky parts of parenting for one reason.  They don’t want to scare you.

It starts at birth, when the tarry black poo called meconium comes out one or two days after the kid enters the world.  After that, it’s a non-stop exhibition of bodily functions.

I have been spit up on.  Peed on.  Vomited on (fortunately, only once in public).  Then there are all the times those displays of projectile whatever didn’t hit me, but instead came to rest on the floor, or the carpet, or the bed.  Days when I’ve cleaned up a blowout diaper or emptied a can of Spot Shot on the carpet.  Nights when I’ve bathed a child or started a load of laundry at three in the morning because kids are incapable of getting sick in the middle of the day.

I have a fairly strong constitution.  I can handle just about anything.  There is one thing, though, that completely grosses me out:

My toddler keeps pooping in the bathtub.

It’s happened five or six times now.  Ashley – the seventeen-month-old – gets in the bathtub and lets it rip.  The warm water must get her in the mood.

Unfortunately, much of the time she bathes with Alissa.  And Alissa is often the first one to notice it.  “MOMMY!”  she cries.  “Ashley POOPED!”

It’s a complete pain in the butt.  (Pardon the irony of that expression, please.)  It usually happens before the girls are washed, so I have to get them both out, wrap them up in towels, then transport the whole party to our bathtub, where the girls are summarily scrubbed.  After that, the bathtub and all toys lingering in the water have to be disinfected.  And I hate, hate, hate scrubbing the bathtub even when it doesn’t have bum nuggets all over the bottom of it.

(Thanks to the Poop Thesaurus for the suggestion of the term bum nuggets. It seemed to convey the right sentiment.)

So what do I do?  Seriously, I need some advice here.  She’s extremely young to understand the concept of potty training.

Brad suggested putting her in a swim diaper.  Not a bad idea – I could just take it off when it’s time to wash her lady parts.  I could shorten bath time, although both my girls love to play in the tub.  I hate to take away that play time for them.

Any suggestions for plugging up the dam?  I’m open to ideas.  And while you’re thinking, I have a bathtub to clean.  Again.  Sigh.

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6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Caela  |  October 18, 2010 at 9:49 am

    The only advice I have (& it is not fool proof) is putting the kid the tub, waiting a few minutes and then pulling them out to sit on the toilet. And freaking out everytime it happened. 7 times later we were all good!

    Reply
  • 2. Chase Callahan  |  October 18, 2010 at 10:14 am

    A good rubber cork should do the trick! Just keep an eye on how red/purple her face gets.

    Reply
  • 3. Ashley Herman  |  October 18, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Raegan did the same thing around the same age. I absolutely hated it too. Every bathtime it would happen. She did it a couple of weeks and then stopped. I didn’t do anything special. Maybe Taegan had a good talk with her about ruining his bathtime. Good Luck. 🙂

    Reply
  • 4. Jessica  |  October 18, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Funny post, I can relate to having that happen. I came to your blog via Three Times the Giggles. Caela seems to have a good idea. I didn’t have a problem with this happening repeatedly and I asked my husband to clean up the mess because it was too gross. My only ideas would be to limit the toys in the water (maybe keep some outside the bath and trade them if they want something else) so that you don’t have as much to clean up. I know 17 mo is kind of young, but some 18 month olds are old enough to potty train, so you could talk to her about the feeling of needing to go, etc and how she should tell you if that happens. It can’t hurt to plant the seed even if it isn’t PT time yet. Good luck!

    Reply
  • 5. LizM  |  October 19, 2010 at 4:04 am

    LOL, I actually remember doing that once when I was about two! Probably wasn’t the only time, just the one I can remember! The swim diaper sounds promising!

    Reply
  • 6. Everything old is new again. « Blankies & Booboos  |  November 12, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    […]  Bum nuggets.  Ashley the Super Bathtub Pooper has been at it again.  Most. Annoying. Thing. […]

    Reply

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