Letters to Whomever

December 10, 2010 at 2:58 pm 3 comments

Dear Retail Checker-Outer,

Just an FYI: If a customer asks you how you are, it’s mostly a rhetorical question, meant only to be polite.  You really have three correct answers to choose from: a) “Fine”; b) “I’m doing good, how are you?”; or c) “It’s a great day!”

Please don’t fill me in on your health issues, how much your job sucks, or your issues with your baby daddy.

Let’s keep this relationship on a superficial level, mmm-kay?


Someone Who Doesn’t Need All That Info


Dear Friends Who Just Found Out You’re Going to Adopt,

I’m so happy for you I could burst.


Another Potential Babysitter


Dear Fed-Ex Man,

I love it when you deliver packages to my door.  It adds a little excitement to our day – even when it’s not stuff for me.


Another Satisfied Online Customer


Dear Amazon.com,

I love how you have everything I need.  And don’t need.   And free shipping.

And you don’t tell me about your issues with your baby daddy.


Someone Who Is Keeping the Fed-Ex Man Busy


Dear Nickelodeon,

Please stop advertising such wonderful toys.  Alissa’s list is getting longer.


A Mom Who Will Never, Ever, Ever Buy Her Child A Toy That Creates And Blows “Snow”


Dear Ebay Buyers,

I have two hours left on my auctions.

Bid, bid, bid.


A Mom Who Needs To Pay For the Toys She Will Buy Her Child For Christmas


Dear Little Debbie,

Why do you have to make such tasty treats?

Darn you.


Someone Who Just Burned 5 WW Points On An Oatmeal Cream Pie


Dear Reader,

Thank you for putting up with my ramblings.


Someone Who Blogs Because It’s Cheaper Than Therapy


Entry filed under: Life in general.

Bad hair day

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sara Foster  |  December 10, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Lol you are so funny. Little debbie is so bad yet so good.

  • 2. Janelle R  |  December 10, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    ahhh…but one awsome aunt might just buy her beautiful niece a A Toy That Creates And Blows “Snow” now that she knows that it is on the list.

  • 3. ~Amy  |  December 10, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    If the aforementioned aunt wants to remain awesome, she will also refrain from buying the toy that blows snow. Just sayin’.


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