Letters to Whomever

December 10, 2010 at 2:58 pm 3 comments

Dear Retail Checker-Outer,

Just an FYI: If a customer asks you how you are, it’s mostly a rhetorical question, meant only to be polite.  You really have three correct answers to choose from: a) “Fine”; b) “I’m doing good, how are you?”; or c) “It’s a great day!”

Please don’t fill me in on your health issues, how much your job sucks, or your issues with your baby daddy.

Let’s keep this relationship on a superficial level, mmm-kay?

Sincerely,

Someone Who Doesn’t Need All That Info

********************

Dear Friends Who Just Found Out You’re Going to Adopt,

I’m so happy for you I could burst.

Sincerely,

Another Potential Babysitter

********************

Dear Fed-Ex Man,

I love it when you deliver packages to my door.  It adds a little excitement to our day – even when it’s not stuff for me.

Sincerely,

Another Satisfied Online Customer

********************

Dear Amazon.com,

I love how you have everything I need.  And don’t need.   And free shipping.

And you don’t tell me about your issues with your baby daddy.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Is Keeping the Fed-Ex Man Busy

********************

Dear Nickelodeon,

Please stop advertising such wonderful toys.  Alissa’s list is getting longer.

Sincerely,

A Mom Who Will Never, Ever, Ever Buy Her Child A Toy That Creates And Blows “Snow”

*******************

Dear Ebay Buyers,

I have two hours left on my auctions.

Bid, bid, bid.

Sincerely,

A Mom Who Needs To Pay For the Toys She Will Buy Her Child For Christmas

*******************

Dear Little Debbie,

Why do you have to make such tasty treats?

Darn you.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Just Burned 5 WW Points On An Oatmeal Cream Pie

*******************

Dear Reader,

Thank you for putting up with my ramblings.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Blogs Because It’s Cheaper Than Therapy

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Entry filed under: Life in general.

Bad hair day

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sara Foster  |  December 10, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Lol you are so funny. Little debbie is so bad yet so good.

    Reply
  • 2. Janelle R  |  December 10, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    ahhh…but one awsome aunt might just buy her beautiful niece a A Toy That Creates And Blows “Snow” now that she knows that it is on the list.

    Reply
  • 3. ~Amy  |  December 10, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    If the aforementioned aunt wants to remain awesome, she will also refrain from buying the toy that blows snow. Just sayin’.

    Reply

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