Giving up control isn’t easy.

May 26, 2011 at 1:50 pm 1 comment

I have had a revelation.

Don’t worry, it’s not the kind of revelation where I believe I know the exact day, hour, and time zone in which the rapture and / or end of the world will happen.  I leave those kinds of things to the nut jobs, thank you very much.

No, this revelation is more personal than that.  I have a situation in my life that has been causing me worry lately.  It is not a situation that is life threatening, or really that big of a deal, but it has caused me some anxiety.

Thing is, I’m tired of worrying about it.  I’m wasting way too many brain cells studying the angles and pondering the circumstances.

Last night, I prayed about it.  I prayed to God to give me wisdom in the situation.  I prayed that He would give me peace, no matter how the circumstances played out.  I knew I needed to unload it before bed time, because otherwise it was going to weigh on my brain throughout the night and keep me from sleeping soundly.

My kids do a good enough job of keeping me from sleeping soundly as it is, and at 2:00 Ashley wakened me with her crying.  She fell back to sleep as I rocked her for a few moments, the house dark and quiet, my brain still somewhat softened by the fuzziness of sleep.  These are the hours I do some of my best thinking.  These are also the hours I think we are most apt to hear God speaking to our hearts, the hours when we are unguarded.

And that’s when I realized it: the situation causing me anxiety is not my situation to worry about.  It is someone else’s problem that I have been carrying around.  What I need to do is focus on my part: zero in on the things that I directly control.  All I can do is focus on doing the best I can given the circumstances.  Beyond that, it’s out of my hands.

As a self-proclaimed “control freak,” I can apply this realization to so many areas of my life.  Parenting, marriage,  friendships, church leadership, job – in all of these things, all I can do is the best I can do.  I can give my best to the things directly within my control.  Beyond that, I cannot bear the burden of carrying around the worries and responsibilities of others, which I have a tendency to do.

This realization also applies to our lives as Christians.  All we can do is live the best lives we can as individuals.  We must give up those things beyond our realm of control to God and let Him carry the burden of seeing His master plan come to fruition.

As if He was still talking to me, I woke up with this old-school Amy Grant song in my head:

“And all I ever have to be is what you made me.
Any more or less would be a step out of your hands.
As you daily recreate me, help me always keep in mind:
that I only have to do what I can find.
And all I ever have to be,
all I have to be,
all I ever have to be is what you made me.”  

What powerful words to remember as we go about our days.


Entry filed under: Life in general.

20 years later, the tornado still haunts me. That WOULD be depressing.

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Amy  |  May 27, 2011 at 8:53 am

    I struggle with this too.
    Thanks for the reminder to let go of what’s out of my control. 🙂


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