My change of attitude.

October 3, 2011 at 1:55 pm 1 comment

Most of you know this, but pre-kids I worked at a full-time job.  Several full-time jobs, actually, since longevity didn’t seem to be in the cards for me during the early years of my career.  But they were jobs that required me to be somewhere at a regular hour on a regular basis, looking somewhat presentable if not professional.

Then I had Alissa, and suddenly the career went out the window.   Here I was, at home all day with a tiny baby who didn’t say much and who didn’t sleep much and who spent a lot of time staring at me and sucking her toes.

And I was BORED.  Out of my MIND.  I missed my work.  I missed the social aspect of my job.  I loved my babies, truly, but they’re not known for good talk around the water cooler.  I missed having somewhere to go every day.  I missed wearing grown up clothes and not smelling like spit-up and taking the time to fix my hair.

We took any opportunity to get out of the house.  I got involved with Bible studies at church.  We hit the Y most days.  We did some shopping; Alissa would nap in the stroller as I pushed her around the mall.  Anything to be around people, away from the too-quiet house.  I tried to fill up the days as much as possible to banish the boredom that seemed to be killing my soul.

Somehow, over the past four years, my attitude about being home has changed.  Maybe it’s because my children are older and – dare I say it – entertaining.  Perhaps I have changed, realizing that boredom is a small price to pay for spending these years with my kids.

I enjoy the flexibility that my life provides.  Sure, I still have places I need to be on particular days, but for the most part our schedule is mine to dictate.

I recently realized that this is our last year of this flexibility.  Next year Alissa will go to elementary school, and our schedule will be driven by school drop-offs and pick-ups.  Our calendar will be full of activities and parties.

This is my last year to enjoy lounging in bed on a Tuesday morning, cuddling with my children.  This is the last year we will spend our Friday mornings swinging at the park or doing puzzles at the library.

I purposely left some blank days this year, days each week that are completely open.  Days when we don’t have anywhere we have to be, when we can take Brad lunch or hit the Y for a couple of hours.  When we can schedule a playdate or visit  the zoo or go for ice cream.  Days that are ours, and ours alone.

I know the time will come when I will long for the simplicity of these days, when the schedule gets too full again and we are running from thing to thing to thing.  When my children no longer crawl into bed to cuddle with me or let me push them on the swings.  Days when I only see them before and after school.

Those days will come way too fast.  And I will look back fondly upon the days when I was bored, and wonder how the years went so quickly when the days sometimes seemed too long.

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Entry filed under: Life in general.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Aunt Dano  |  October 3, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Cherish them while you can, they go too quickly and never come back.

    Reply

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